Scene II

The Confessional pastor enters stage left, "driving" his way across the stage in front of the closed curtain. When he is about half way across, the curtain opens on a meeting room of the Village Inn located across the street from the district’s headquarters. It is filled with ladies clad in purple t-shirts, listening excitedly to one purple-clad woman making an announcement.

(p-c woman) And now without further ado, I give you our synodical president, here to address us before tomorrow's LCMS Pinafore District Convention opening day festivities!

Women applaud as SP takes the stand. Cue music -

(SP) I am the monarch of the See;
I supervise ecclesiastically,
And push the limits that the doctrine plants.

(p-c woman, jumping to her feet) And so will his sisters and his cousins and his aunts,

(All p-c ladies, jumping to their feet) His sisters and his cousins, who he recons by the dozens, his sisters and his cousins, who he recons by the dozens, and his aunts. (All ladies sit back down, as nodding, smiling DP motions them to do so)

(SP) Creation’s order’s obsolete
But transition must be discrete;
I’ll quietly work so women’s roles advance.

(p-c woman and all ladies repeat chorus, same actions)

(SP) I will allow all my DP’s
(though there may be some casualties)
To just slip in some liturgical dance.

(p-c woman and all ladies repeat chorus, same actions.)

(SP) And if the four winds blow,
I’ll casually go below
And seek the refuge that a by-law grants.

(p-c woman, jumping to her feet) And so will his sisters and his cousins and his aunts,

(all p-c ladies, jumping to their feet) His sisters and his cousins, who he recons by the dozens,

(all p-c ladies and DP) His sisters and his cousins, who he recons by the dozens, and his aunts! (DP, smiling broadly, comes from behind stand and embraces as many p-c ladies as he can reach)

Curtain.