As promised, I met with Onaleah after church on Sunday. She wasn’t alone. She’d brought the entire Laymen clan to hear what I had to say. I swallowed hard and spilled the whole sordid story.
Many of the Justmore MoSyn-Politics branch sat there clueless or in denial. One of the All Blazin’ Lutherans Approve Zippy Evangelism branch, patients of Doctor Knott, pointedly suggested I should get my eyes examined so I could more appreciate the beauty of Miss Iona Ree Mindset. This wasn’t good. This branch was the one currently in power. I knew if they forced me into Doctor Knott’s examination chair and offered me a shot-gun wedding, I’d have to make a run for it. At least I knew the Confessional Mosyn branch, for whom what I’d said only confirmed their fears, would follow me.
What could I do? Well, keep Great-Great-Great Grandpa B.O.Concord out of the nursing home, for one. I had to keep preaching, keep teaching, keep administering the Sacraments, and keep my bags packed and my running shoes on.
After all, I’m Luther N. Pastor, Private Eye.