Friday, August 04, 2006

Chapter 5 - A Real Nice Clambake

“Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, this Elsie-Em S. Kirche announces Sharon Lovejoy and Con can get married at her place, and I have to perform the ceremony! Of course, the ol’ Sir Kutt nods approval.” Again he looked straight into my eyes. “You know I couldn’t do that, so I told them all, as gently as possible, that even Grandpa doesn’t approve.” He fell silent, shaking his head.

Suddenly, his anger broke through. Up came his head, and out came, “Well, you’d think I’d ripped a loud one during silent prayer. Pure bedlam breaks out, and next thing I know, they insist that it must be a DOUBLE ceremony! Sharon and her Con man, and some ‘hot item’ from the All Blazin’ Lutherans Approve Evangelism branch named Miss Iona Ree Mindset and me! They force me next door, and Doctor Knott has the nerve to say, ““Welcome! Here to test your Ablaze! vision? Have a seat!” Suddenly, there are shouts and screams flying everywhere while mister ‘Reformed Doc Trin,’ being ever-helpful with his ab-lazer ES-V2004, tries to ‘correct my vision’ – yeah, RIGHT! - set me on fire is more like it, while Reed Mark Lern & Ward Lee Digest are jumping in to offer support and protection for me!”

As suspected, I had smelled Knott’s smoke on them when they came into my office. Then what?” I asked Justin.

“I run out the door and am in hiding until this morning. When I come back here, they take my name off the mailbox, and my hat & bags sit on the front porch. Then you come along. What am I to do, Brother? What am I to do?”

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