Monday, May 29, 2006


I want to sing hymns out of a hymnal, though I do admit it’s a little harder with the advent of bifocals. That’s what we did at our first church out here on the prairie until the “worship folder” was ushered in. Then we started singing hims. Hymns are (or certainly should be) Christ-centered. Hims are, what else, man-centered.

So, if you haven’t reached the Outer Limit with these trips to the Twilight Zone, then settle back and get comfy. We’re goin’ in again!


Where the future of church leadership, like, begins today!

May 29, 2006

Dear YFL Sponsor,

As was announced last week, the Synodical Convention’s host congregation’s YFL will be performing a special song to be sung on the convention floor to kick-off the proceedings. But we feel that youth all around the country will want to warm up to its glowing, so we are sending each and every congregation’s YFL a copy of it.

Mr. Ditfield “Ditty” Digress,
Senior Wroughten Worship Writer,
National Young Factious Lutherans

I Simply Sing!
By “Ditty” Digress, on the occasion
of the 2007 National Convention of the
Lutheran Congregations Mangling Scripture
(with a tip of the ol’ Stetson to Toby Keith)

We talk about our church, an' what we're gonna do
To fill the walls 'til burstin' and load up every pew.
We'll introduce a new style, or maybe two or three.
We'll get ourselves a praise band and can the liturgy!

Chorus: Even just thinking about it makes me smile,
So more than once in a while-----------
I simply sing about me; simply sing about I;
Simply sing about what I do, oh my me my --
How I sing, how I praise, how I feel, how I'm celebratiiiiiiing!
I get bored when I hafta sing didactically…. So, innovatively,

And when the folks complain that this isn't what they know,
We'll tell 'em, "that's okay, just sit back and watch the show!"
We'll turn the volume louder, so they don't hafta think.
Weak doctrine doesn't matter just so long as we're in synch! Chorus

And neither does it matter that the songs ain't very long;
They all match our attention span; the doctrine ain't too strong.
I've said all that's important, so there really ain't much more.
Let's sing the chorus 12 more times, then all head out the door! Chorus 12 times

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