Captain’s Log, Stardate 0401.07. Word from Starfleet brass has it that the fourth planet of the Loothronus system is dead. We’ve been sent to verify.
“Mr. Checkbook…”
“Aye, Kiptin?”
“Put us in standard orbit. Dry Bones, report to the bridge. Mr. Spark, you’re the science officer. What do you see on the big screen?”
Readings coming in now, Captain. Projections, zero; lyric output, zero; power poi… It’s dead, Jim.”
“Captain Kirche?”
“What is it, Youth-Hurrah?”
“I’m picking up a communication signal from the planet’s surface. It’s an older dialect, but still in our data base.”
“Put it on audio, Lieutenant.”
“We bidst thee welcome, Enterprise. Wouldst thou joinest us in our fellowship hall?”
“I’m the doctor around here, and that’s not the sound of death, Spark! Are you out of your Vulcan mind?’
“No, Doctor, I am quite within my mind. I have decided to cease my incessant internal purification and embrace my feelings.”
“Well, Spark, I’m proud of you!”
“And Doctor, need I remind you, Starfleet…
“I’m a doctor, not a bureaucrat!”
“… Regulatory By-Law 1783.725.36…”
“I’m a doctor, not a lawyer!”
“…sets current minimum population of 350 for high quality wor…
“I’m a doctor, not a census taker!”
“Gentlemen, can we continue this debate later? This situation calls for a landing party! “Spark, you and Checkbook are with me. And remember, aphaser! settings on stun only.”
“Don’t worry, Kiptin, they’ll be stunned all right!”
“Youth-Hurrah, inform Lieutenant Sue-Lue she’s got the com. Then report to the planet’s surface and join the party.”
“Yes, sir!! I’m always up for a party!”
We’ll be right back with more Star Track – Not Your Grandfather’s Generation!
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