Article from the Prairie Schooner News

Investigators are still trying to sort out the pieces of the LCMSTitanic tragedy. Did the LCMSTitanic accidentally hit an iceberg while its captain steamed full speed ahead with a foggy vision? Was it all some dreadful miscommunication? A terrified crewman was heard screaming, “I think an IC-BM hit the fans!” Investigators know that the submarine Biz Mark secretely escorts the LCMSTitanic and has been known to carry a boatload of IC-BM’s in addition to its regular arsenal. Could the orders, “Fan into flame” have been mistaken for “Inflame the fans?” Theories seem to be surfacing as fast as the LCMSTitanic seems to be sinking. Sheer incompetence? A rogue petty-officer? Conspiracy? Anger over mutinie$ of the bounty? Doctrinal piracy? The (now very) public is demanding an answer. So far, the only reply has been the launch of another IC-BM.

Issues, etc.

Tissues, etc. – tissues for drying my eyes, a bucket for the waves of nausea, and a hymnal for driving away the evil spirit.

Diss-you’s, etc. – Strand’s, Kieschnick’s, and KFUO’s response.

Miss-you’s etc. – petition signing, and tributes and contributions to Rev. Wilken and Jeff Schwarz.

And finally,

Current issues about Issues, etc. – Weedon, “Why,” and what next.

Speaking the Truth

Timely discussion re the Mormon church going on at Rev. Engebretson's blog. Read the comments section, and you'll see perfect evidence of why full seminary education/training is so essential for those men called and ordained by our congregations.

Just in time for Reformation Day…

Got a letter this weekend “To the Parents of” from Student Services. The following quotes are from the letter; I just put them in their proper context.

Boom! (flit – flit) Boom – Rat-a-tat-a-tat (flit) – Boom! (flit – flit)

The praise drummers and liturgical dancers make their way through a small village, drawing a crowd after them. Pastor John Pretzel solemnly climbs the steps to the Town Square stage as a hush falls over the onlookers.

“Two students showed up to get their Care Packages. One beamed when she received her package. The other…..”

The crowd gasps as stagehands unfurl a horrific banner – a young woman tormented by the flames of “hell week” at Concordia, the little GPA demons stabbing her in the head with their pitchforks!

“The other, whose family had not reserved a package, immediately used her cell phone and called Mom with a plaintive ‘You didn’t send me a Care Package?’” A sad little pout crossed Pr. Pretzel’s features. “Because so many students receive Care Packages during exam time, it can hurt if a student is left out.”

But good ol’ Pretzel. He won’t let us down! “This year, we have a solution to make sure every student feels supported at this critical time*.”

And such a deal! For a mere twenty to fifty-five bucks you can buy indulgences – flavored coffee, hot chocolate, cookies, cereal, nuts, candies – “…tangible proof that the people students count on are thinking of them at exam time.”

And I’ll never forget his parting words. When your credit card through the coffer slides, another student through her finals glides.

My mom and dad must have done a good job of safeguarding me from peer pressure, because I'm not buying it. Neither the guilt, nor the Care Package. Sorry Concordia. Thanks to me, you will once again not be able "to hit the elisuve 100% parent participation."

*Not to be confused with a Critical Event! ™.

Why not?

I thought this post by Fr. Hollywood (yes, I like reading his blog) was headed toward his asking “Why?” he’s still in the Missouri Synod. It’s a question I ask myself every day, and I was hoping he was going to answer it. In the comment section regarding Luther’s ongoing criticism of Rome, he notes, “By contrast, the LCMS can't burn anyone at the stake (though I suspect some of the DPs might be tempted, at least for a couple seconds). :-)”

Silly Father Hollywood! It takes too much time to get a burn permit. So in stead, they call it a bar-b-que and slow roast the pastor over a pit during several congregational meetings, then serve ‘im up at a voters’ assembly called for the purpose of rescinding his call.

You know…. Maybe those who have left just can’t resist yelling “fire” to those sitting in a Burning!(tm) building.

Ponder anew....

This sermon from Father Beane made me realize that I’ve somehow thought of Jesus’ temptations in the desert after His Baptism as a one-time occurance – that after He overcame them with the Word of God, Satan no longer tempted him, or perhaps that He was no longer vulnerable to temptation after that. Here, Fr. Beane has painted a new picture for me. “Jesus, God in the flesh, is weeping over the City of Jerusalem. These are tears of profound sadness. What a great mystery the incarnation of God is! For Jesus is God, He is Almighty, He can change everything with the breath of a single word. And yet, He doesn’t.”

And what art work he's chosen to accompany his post! The gaping, black maw of the storm, full of prowling tooth and claw, is breathing this temptation into Jesus’ ear, poised to not only devour Jerusalem, but the King himself, should He succumb to it. While I sit here thinking, I realize that Satan was busy tempting Jesus right up until His death. I always considered the words of the mockers, “Let this Christ, the King of Israel, now come down from the cross, so that we may see and believe!” to simply be a confirmation of their arrogant, hardened hearts. Yet their words, too, must have been tempting. And it seems to always the same temptation: to avoid paying the cost and escape God’s will. Pretty clever stuff, coming from one who surely wanted to avoid having to pay the cost (of having his head crushed) and escape God’s will.

Call the Doctor

I have read several reports of the ’07 convention, both in- and outside the blogosphere. It would seem that the huge carbuncle of schism festering on Missouri’s backside wasn’t lanced this year either, so the infection still rages. In our Fever!(TM), we babbled commendations for LSB out of one side of our mouth, while we screamed for diverse worship music out of the other. We passed a lot of gas about specific pastoral ministry, but never actually eliminated Word and Sacrament lay ministry. No, this pustule was merely poked with a needle and drained just enough to ease the pressure for another three (or will it be two?) years. As long as the infection goes unchecked, the body will continue to weaken.

Luther is remembered for saying, “Here I stand.” At the rate we’re going, the LCMS will be remembered for saying, “Here I sit, but only on one cheek.”